It's been one of my biggest challenges in life to live with, although it makes for some funny stories, and running jokes... until one of you people give me a heart attack.
So I've been in a lot of group therapy sessions, and one of the methods the VA docs discuss are exposing yourself to situations that give you anxiety, and deal with it for long periods of time, and to repeat this. The theory is, that your fear will diminish over time. I figured what the hell, I might as well give it a whirl when I saw this very large cross spider spinning her enormous web over my sliding door.
I watched her, knowing she couldn't get me through the glass (but I'm never going out back ever again), and I learned a lot about how spiders make their webs. I also get to watch her eat at night. She's been living in front of our door for a month or so. I couldn't kill her, knowing she has survived a long time, and earned her status in the insect kingdom. She is clever, and clearly a fighter. I've never seen one as large as her before, and even though I despise the wretched vile creatures, I respect her place in my backyard. She keeps shit out of my house, and maintains her superiority in my backyard... while I watch her from inside my house.
I'm sure she's grown much larger than what my pictures show, since I took them on September 20th. If she is still there on the 20th of October, I'll photograph her again. I still get the willies thinking about spiders being on me, but seeing them isn't so bad, if they aren't in my way... and can't get me.
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